Haste Decisions
by FreekyDisaster18
Summary: After being attacked because of his sexuality, Stuart realises that there are some decisions to be made but Robbie's afraid that he'll make them too quickly. M/M.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: So SimplyObsessed-1 has decided that she's no longer going to finish the stories that she started and rather than allow her to delete them, I promised that I'd take control of them and using her structure – as you'll notice when you read it – I'll finish the stories but add my own spin on them (aka endless narration). I give her credit for the amazing story line and also alternativerocker for being the beta for the original work.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters**

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><p><strong>[Haste Decisions]<strong>

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><p>There was a fear hitting the city of Glasgow that the local gang were getting stronger as each day passed. There were endless rumours of both drug and gun smuggling but the more troubling was the talk about them now being involved with the selling of young girls for the sex trade. There were several attempts at stopping them, each one being coldly assassinated by a profession and Gemma, the medical examiner, was starting to complain about the lack of space in her morgue. She now had ten John Doe's taking up residency and no one was coming forward to claim them. The force had decided that there was only one real option; undercover.<p>

The group had taken an immediate liking to Stuart due to his fresh faced innocence. This choir boy look would come in useful when it came to dealing with the police and the group knew how to use everything to their advantage. This had been the reason that Stuart had been chosen over Robbie, despite the elder detective's grumbling that he would be the wiser choice as he was gruffer, because Burke had been aware of how the boss would be thinking.

Tonight, rumour had it, was the night that they were going to get a shipping of guns after midnight. Thankfully, the plan was working because Stuart had been one of the few hand chosen to be there when the guns arrived on the docks. This had pleased Burke and the officers that were apart of the team responsible for bringing this smuggling down. Stuart's know how allowed them to know when, where and how much merchandise would be hitting Glasgow that night. The police would be able to intercept the guns and arrest the gang without there being any major disasters. Or so they thought.

Just before midnight, Stuart found himself standing at the side of the docks, his hands buried deep in his pockets as he moved from foot to foot in an attempt to keep warm. Noticing this repeated action, one of the gang members shrugged off his coat and wrapped it around Stuart's shivering shoulders, a warm smile gracing his handsome features as he returned his gaze to where he'd been looking previously. Stuart had developed a close rapport with Finley and he'd heard through rumours that Finley was one of the few members of the gang to bat for the same team as Stuart. Stuart, thinking like a thug, had acted shocked but the boss had immediately warned him that homophobic behaviour wasn't tolerated in their group and Stuart had quickly admitted his sexual preference, covering his disgust by stating that he always feared how people would react.

Stuart could still remember how the boss had just laughed, his hand clapping down on Stuart's shoulder as he started to explain that the other people in the gang just accepted a person for who they were. It was a case of 'you couldn't help you fall in love with and you sure as hell can't help it if the person was the same sex as you'. He'd gone on to explain, despite his fraternisation rules, that Finley would be very pleased to learn about Stuart's sexual preferences because he'd voiced a liking several times towards the blonde haired and blue eyed man that had just joined their fold.

Blushing, Stuart had excused himself from the main office. Being a detective, Stuart had got used to hiding his sexuality and he'd realised a very long time ago that he'd been able to do it with ease. Due to being a team, he'd made sure that Burke, Jackie and Robbie were aware of his life choices but he believed that he'd managed to keep it quiet from the rest of the station. Or so he believed...

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><p>Sitting out in their paroled car, the uniformed officers checked that their guns were loaded as they waited for the order off DC Fraser that they should close in. Both had grumbled a disgust that their chief in command tonight had been a "fag" and had protested their involvement but Burke had silenced them with a cold look before explaining that of course they could have the night off but then had proceeded to explain that it would be a case of not coming back tomorrow. They'd be fired.<p>

Officer Jenkins had learnt about DC Fraser's choice of lifestyle completely by mistake. He'd overheard DI Ross and DS Reid talking about setting up their friend with one of Jackie's friends from outside the station. He hadn't been that shocked at first because realistically when did detective's ever have time to go out and find a partner of their own? What had disgusted him though was when DS Reid had stated that Bobby was a nice guy and would know how to treat DC Fraser right. This revelation had been when he'd first realised the blonde haired detective was a 'fag' and ever since then, he'd held a hatred towards him but yet here he was watching the man's back in case things turned ugly.

"Are you okay, Jenkins?" His partner, Dan Smith, asked and Jenkins turned to look at him before slightly nodding his head and then unclenching the hand resting on his thigh that had curled into a fist without his knowledge.

"I was just thinking, Smith." He explained lightly, his hand reaching out to fidget with the radio just so that it would have something to do.

"You thinking about the 'fag'?" Jenkins had filled Smith in about DC Fraser as soon as he could and had taken great pleasure in highlighting how disgusting it was. The two officers had been partners for many years now and even though Smith didn't hold the same beliefs as Jenkins, he still talked as if he did because he knew that you needed to be able to rely on your partner in a case of danger. Smith had sensed that if Jenkins was to find out that Smith didn't think homosexuality was disgusting then he'd treat him with the exact same amount of disrespect.

Smiling over at his partner, Jenkins nodded his head. "I sure am. I feel so angry that the man goes against the norm and yet here we are sat around waiting for his damned command." He snorted. "The 'fag' probably slept his way to the top."

"I don't think DCI Burke swings that way, Jenkins."

"Jesus Christ, I think you're right!" He grunted as he shook his head. "The dirty 'fag' must have screwed even higher!" The man cursed angrily before leaning out of his window and spitting. Smith bit back the urge to vomit, his stomach churning at how disgusting his partner actually was but all thoughts vanishes when he heard DC Fraser's voice come over the crackling radio, stating that it was time. Climbing out of the car, they reached down for their guns before nodding their heads at each other. It was show time.

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><p>All around the docks you could hear shooting and both officers approached cautiously, their gaze falling on DC Fraser as he moved away from the scene. Jenkins motioned for Smith to keep moving forward while he went to check that DC Fraser hadn't been hit. Smith just nodded his head, nothing thinking anything of that as his sole focus was on making sure that no one was injured. Arriving at the scene, his gun held up, he noticed DI Ross was already there and handcuffing one of the suspects. "Smith, where the hell is your partner?" He growled hating it when the officers split up. It was when they did stupid things like that the force ended up with fatalities.<p>

"Jenkins went to check on DC Fraser, sir." He informed the DI, his gun now concentrating on the suspected that DI Ross was still holding down to the floor with his hands cuffed behind his back.

Suddenly a loud scream caused them both to move quickly, guns drawn as they saw DS Reid running out of the warehouse. "Robbie," she cried running towards him. "Stuart's been attacked." She informed him, her hand running through her short brown hair as she tried to control her emotions. DI Ross instructed for Smith to take over with the suspect as he turned to follow Jackie into the warehouse.

The first thing he saw was the puddle of blood surrounding the man. Whoever had beaten him had surely not intended for Stuart to live so that he was able to tell the tale, especially due to the amount of bruising he had to the facial area. Robbie felt his heart sink as he knelt down next to the man, preserving the evidence the last thing on his mind as he stroked the blood matted hair and held Stuart close to him. "Jackie, ring for an ambulance." He ordered before watching as she walked away, her phone in her hand as she searched for reception. Turning his gaze back to Stuart, he felt the sting of tears in his eyes as he whispered. "Don't you dare leave me. I couldn't bear to lose you." His biggest secret about to slip out due to the shock of seeing his friend like this. "I love you."

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><p><strong>to be continued...<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHORS NOTE: So obviously SO-1 had written a lot of this story already so the updates should be frequent until it gets to me writing them myself because then you'll never see the story again. Just kidding. I'll try. I really love this story.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters.**

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><p>Twenty fours hour had passed since Stuart had been admitted into the hospital and Robbie had refused to leave his side apart from when he desperately needed to go the bathroom. The nurses that scurried in and out realised that nothing apart from bathroom breaks would remove him from his friend's side so they had started bringing him in the odd cup of coffee as well as a sandwich here and there so that he wouldn't starve. Robbie felt eternally grateful, his smile bright for the few seconds they were in the room before returning to it's strained expression as he looked at his best friend. The doctor, Robbie had already forgotten his name, had stated that it could be hours or even days before Stuart would come round and be able to tell anyone what had happened and that was if he even did remember what had happened.<p>

But Robbie knew that getting Stuart's statement was the last thing on his mind and he knew that eventually he'd have to explain to Burke the actual reason why he was determined to stay at his friend's side but Robbie didn't care. The only thing that mattered right now was Stuart. He'd already pulled the uncomfortable guest chair snug against the bed causing his knees to squash against the metal frame but the pain had numbed hours ago, his hand holding onto that of the blonde haired detective's and his face was obviously tear stained. Every now and again he would allow for sleep to take over because the nurses had told him, on several occasions, that he would be no good to anyone if he was exhausted. However, whenever he did allow himself to fall asleep it wasn't long before his dreams were haunted by the images of the attack on Stuart and he'd wake up instantly, his breathing heavy as sweat dripped across his brown and tears threatened to fall once more.

He was well aware that this wasn't usually the way that he reacted when Stuart was injured and if Burke was to arrive then he knew that their boss would most definitely be confused but that didn't deter Robbie. He'd already nearly lost Stuart in the last twenty four hours and he wouldn't allow himself the scare of knowing that he could crash again while he wasn't there with him. Looking down at the man, he couldn't help but remember the last words that he'd muttered to the man as he held him in his arms. Now, as he rethought the scenario, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd imagined the ghostly smile that had embraced the injured man's face as he'd allowed his friend to hold him, uttering words of love and demanding for him not to leave. He knew that he would never know if the smile was real but Robbie was happy in thinking that it was and he'd most definitely seen it.

With one final sigh, he rested his cheek against the man's hand and realised how heavy his eyelids had become during his struggle to stay awake so that he wouldn't have to deal with the images any more. He could hear a nurse mentally telling him not to fight it any more but just allow sleep to take him because he should be grateful for the few moments of sleep that he could get. Despite knowing that no one was really there, Robbie voiced agreement before allowing sleep to win.

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><p>Standing at his locker, Officer Daniel Smith fumbled with his shirt buttons as he stared emptily in front of him. His thoughts were literally miles away, as in back at the warehouse where they'd found DC Fraser lying in a pool of his own blood fighting for his life and how he'd struggled back to the patrol car he shared with his partner to see the latter man just leaning against the driver side door, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth as he looked proud of himself. The first thing Smith noticed was the cuts and scrapes on Jenkins' knuckles and he couldn't help but feel his heart sink, his mind putting two and two together to most likely make four in this situation.<p>

Knowing that he was about to break every code, Smith yanked his shirt over his head and moved to his partner's locker before entering the combination. Jenkins' had told him the combination once when he'd asked Smith to go fetch something for him and because partners trusted each other with everything. Jenkins also probably thought that Smith would eventually forget the combination as it wasn't exactly useful for him but Smith, thankfully, had an amazing memory for information like that. With trembling hands, he pulled out the sports bag that his partner kept stashed at the bottom of his locker and mentally counted to ten before pulling back the zip. Closing his eyes, he released a groan as he ran his hand over his face as he took in what he saw.

There, lying in the old sports bag, was a white shirt covered in reddish brown stains that Smith would most definitely bet was blood.

Falling back against the bench, he ran his hands through his hair as he realised that he needed to do something about this but he also knew that the minute he grassed on one of his own, he'd be hated by the rest of the uniforms. However whenever a detective or an officer was hurt they were always more determined to solve it so shouldn't this still be the case when it was another officer that inflicted the pain? Closing his eyes again, he took a deep breath and knew that he couldn't ignore this because he would never be able to live with himself so opening up his eyes, he mumbled a sorry to the locker that he closed and took hold of the sports bag. Burke was to be informed of this, immediately.

Deep down, Smith knew that he was to blame for this situation as much as Jenkins was. He should have known that when Jenkins said that he was going to check on DC Fraser there was something different about it because the man had voice his opinion, several times, about how much he hated the man. Why would he care what kind of trouble the man was in? Surely he'd have been more thrilled if one of the gang members had been there to hurt the spying detective... Smith realised that he should have gone to check on DC Fraser and that Jenkins should have gone forward to help DI Ross.

Looking down at the bag in his hand, he sighed. He couldn't afford for this to leave the building tonight when Jenkins' shift ended so he decided that it was most definitely a case of now or never. Nodding his head, he mentally prepared himself for the shit that this was going to cause but that didn't stop him from leaving the locker room, bag in hand and in the direction of homicide.

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><p>Slowly opening his eyes, the man couldn't help but groan at the pounding sensation in his head or notice that his whole body felt as if it was compressed by a lot of weight. Once his eyes were fully opened, he couldn't help but feel blinded by the bright lights or panicked by the fact that his vision seemed slightly blurred causing him to blink erratically, allowing for the sensation of blindness to dissipate. Aware of a tube in his mouth, he couldn't help but attempt to reach out and take hold of it but an unknown weight was keeping his hand weighed down against the surface.<p>

Where the hell was he?

Blinking one last time, the room came into perfect view and he couldn't help but feel a slightly air of disgust when he noticed that he was in a hospital room. Groaning, he moved his head to the side to see what the possible weight keeping his hand down was and froze when he saw Robbie there, sleeping. The more shocking part was the way he held onto his hand as if was afraid to let it go. Stuart couldn't help but realise how peaceful the man looked, a smile embracing Stuart's features even through all the pain.

Deciding that even if the son of a bitch did look peaceful sleeping there, Stuart needed answers so he croaked out the man's name. Slowly stirring, almost as if he thought that the voice had been apart of him dream, Robbie started to come to causing Stuart to repeat his name as he watched the man rub at his reddened eyes. Suddenly hitting him that the voice wasn't a part of his imagination, he shot up right and smiled at Stuart. "I'll go get a nurse," he insisted starting towards the door.

"No." Stuart snapped harshly, the tone harsher than he intended but he'd had to use a lot more force than he thought he could even muster and at that it had been too much. Robbie looked over at he man, his expression one of shock as he nodded his head slowly and moved back to the chair that he'd been occupying. Stuart couldn't help but feel bad because Robbie genuinely looked like a puppy that had just been kicked from the tone Stuart had used. "If you go get a nurse, she'll refuse to let you stay because they'll want to run tests and I need you to tell me what happened." He whispered gently, aware of the pain again that was pounding in his head.

Sighing, Robbie nodded his head before shrugging his shoulders. "Stuart, I know as little as you do." He promised as he watched Stuart yank the tube out of his mouth and when he went to point out that he didn't that was a good idea, Stuart just cast him look that clearly he didn't care and he most definitely wasn't in the mood to be argued with. "We managed to get hold of the guns and every single guy smuggling them in but..." Robbie looked down at his hands, his voice getting quieter but that didn't deter Stuart because the silent voices helped with the migraine. "We thought everything was alright, Stuart, but then Jackie came out of the warehouse screaming that you'd been attacked and..." he stopped talking, the images flooding his mind again and he could fell the familiar sting of tears at the back of his eyes.

"Do you know who attacked me?" Stuart demanded to know, unaware of Robbie's mood shift but Robbie did notice that Stuart's voice trembled slightly but he didn't say anything. Instead, he reached out and took hold of the man's hand and squeezed it lightly knowing that he wasn't crossing that invisible line because he had, on many occasions, been the one to support Stuart just through being there to hold his hand.

"Stuart, we don't know that yet." He explained gently and jumped up when Stuart indicated that he wanted a glass a water, complying quickly by running to the water jug that had been rested on the side of the bed before perching on the end of Stuart's bed. He was very aware of Stuart's fingers against his thigh and he wanted to ask Stuart what he remembered, particularly did he remember what Robbie had said, but the part of him that hid behind his cowardly ways were winning and he knew that he'd never be bold enough to ask. "We were hoping that you would remember," he pointed out before taking hold of the glass when he noticed that Stuart was struggling to grip it.

Lifting up his hands, he couldn't help but see how bruised they were before running them over his tired face. Robbie sat patiently watching until Stuart started to beat the side of his head, his hands now clenched into fists as he cried out, "I can't remember anything!" Robbie was there in an instant, his hands capturing Stuart's before imprisoning his wrists in one hand while the other took hold of his chin so that he could make the younger man look at him.

"Stop it." He ordered. "You had some serious blows to the side of your head and the chances of you surviving were slim, Stuart. I think we're blessed with you just losing your memory of that night, okay. None of us are going to judge you." He explained gently, allowing his emotions to get the better of him, before waiting for Stuart to acknowledge that he'd listened and understood what Robbie had said before relenting his wrists and chin. "The most important thing, right now, is that you focus on getting better and then maybe one day your memory will come back to you."

"That's easy for you to say," he grumbled like a small child causing Robbie to grin. "I suppose you'd best go get that nurse now," he whispered, tears falling down his cheeks, deciding that he no longer wanted to talk to anyone about how useless he was and especially not with Robbie. Stuart couldn't help but sense that Robbie would probably be angry at him for not remembering because he was there only key piece of evidence. Robbie could see the internal battle happening behind Stuart's eyes and couldn't help but sigh as he moved over, his hand reaching out to touch the man's cheek as he whispered the man's name softly but he was silenced by a glare causing him to pull his hand away sharply, as if burnt. "I don't need your pity, Ross," the sudden aversion to surnames caused Robbie to nod his head. "I know you secretly think I cocked up somewhere so shove your damned pity and get the nurse."

"Stuart..."

"I bet you now wish that you'd been the one to deliever that last blow, don't you? End the useless detective that I am," he snapped harshly before turning his back on the man, his shoulders shaking from the silent sobs that he was releasing. Due to turning away, he didn't seen the pain dart across Robbie's face as he bit back the tears, his head nodding gently as he moved towards the door. Turning back to look at the man, he opened his mouth to say something but decided that it was best just to leave it and left without even saying goodbye.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHORS NOTE: I know that I've still got stories unfinished on here but I think... as much as it hurts me to admit, I'm either going to leave them unfinished or deleted because I just don't have any motivation and I want to start new ones. Lack of dedication, right?**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters**

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><p>"Can I help you, Officer Smith?" Matthew Burke asked as he opened the door causing the officer to stop, his hand running over his face as he turned to look at the Detective.<p>

Burke had noticed Smith arrive at his door twenty minutes ago, he'd attempted to open the door but then he'd stepped away and had started anxiously prowling outside while running his hand through his hair and mumbling to himself. Burke, despite having tried to ignore him because he didn't have time for officer dramatics, had long since realised that the officer obviously had something on his mind that he wanted to talk about. Eventually he'd started to feel motion sick from watching the officer out of the corner of his eye and had decided to beckon him.

"I need to talk to you, sir?" He finally whispered knowing that he didn't have the confidence yet to talk loudly. DS Reid had walked past twice also and he'd managed to successfully duck out of any conversation with her. Now though, facing Burke, he wondered if she would have been easier to talk to. Smiling weakly, he walked through the door and moved to stand behind the chair, his hands gripping the back, rather than sit down.

"Okay Smith," Burke said slowly as he moved back to sit in his chair, "what's bothering you?"

Without a second thought, Smith blurted out, "I know who attacked DC Fraser, sir." The minute the sentence was out, he regretted it because Burke rose from his seat, his hands slamming down on the table as he glared at the young officer.

"We all do, Officer," and Smith realised that Burke thought that he was patronising him by stating the obvious and sighed as he continued with, "it was one of the gang members."

"No sir," he mumbled quietly as he sat down in the chair, his hands knotted in his lap as he tried to rationalise what he was about to do before looking up at him, "I think it was my partner, Officer Jenkins, Sir." Smith then proceeded to tell Burke about the hatred his partner felt towards DC Fraser because of his sexuality and how that he'd said he would go make sure that DC Fraser was okay but he didn't come back to report that the detective had been found beaten. Lifting up the sports bag, he sighed. "This is Jenkins' bag, sir, and I think you should have a look see what's inside."

Moving round the desk, Burke took hold of the bag and pulled it open before feeling his heart sink as he took in the blood soaked shirt. He stood there for a few moments before he moved round to his side of the desk and pressed a button. "Jackie," he barked into it causing her to run into his room a few moments later, her brow furrowed as she tried to work out what she'd done to piss of their boss. "I need this shirt taken down to forensics. I want to know whose blood it is," he watched as she left before turning back to Smith. "Son, you realise what could happen because you've "grassed" up on your mate?"

"Officer Jenkins is not my mate, sir. He's someone I was partnered with," the man looked down at his hands before sighing. "Sir, my son has just recently came out of the closet and having to listen to the homophobic rambles of Jenkins literally broke my heart but to know that he could beat on one of his own..." He stopped talking for a moment and Burke took note of how proud Smith was that his son had come out so knew immediately that he would never have been involved, if Jenkins was to state so. "Could you imagine what he'd do if he accidentally walked into my son or one of his friends in the town?"

Nodding his head, Burke clearly understood. "Thank you for coming forward, officer."

Standing up, Smith was about to leave when he turned back to look at Burke who had just been about to sit down at his chair, his hands running over his tired face. "Sir, how is DC Fraser doing?"

"Son, he can't remember anything of that night but the doctors claim that he'll be okay," he informed the officer before nodding his head, a clear gesture that he could leave now and he did, quietly. Burke closed his eyes, his heart breaking as he realised that he might need to inform Stuart that an officer had done this to him and not a member of the gang like he'd expected.

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><p><em>Hearing the commotion, Stuart moved back into the warehouse and took hold of his firearm as he thought of his safety. The gang, despite everyone's beliefs, weren't stupid and would be able to work out that he was their leak because he was the newest member. Their operation had been working just fine before he arrived. Running his hands through his blonde hair, he found himself wanting to break down and cry as he heard more gun shots and the sounds of yelps. Some of those yelps could belong to the officers for all he knew...<em>

_His thoughts ended as he crashed into someone, his hand tightening on his firearm but that loosened when he felt one being thrust into the small of his back. "Don't move faggot," a voice hissed and Stuart couldn't help but feel a little confused. For a gang that supported homosexuality, that was most definitely not a reference he'd expected to hear during his time here. "I shouldn't have to take orders from you," the voice continued, "You think you're all that when all you do is bend over and take." Stuart couldn't help but feel frightened, his brain trying to work out who this man was and how he knew Stuart. "Well you won't be a good detective when I'm finished with you. I can promise you that." _

_There was a loud growl before the gun met Stuart's forehead, his whole body slumping to the floor and from that he proceeded to feel every punch, every kick and every crack from the gun that was delivered to him. He tried to fight back but his hands had long since lost their grip on the firearm he'd been holding, his vision blurred from his own blood and his reactions sluggish as he slowly felt himself falling into the black but not before he heard heels and the scream of "Robbie"._

"Stuart," he found himself being shaken awake, his breathing heavy as he jumped up in the bed and found himself staring into Robbie's face. "Hey," the man whispered gently dropping his bags and pressing his hand to the man's forehead. "Are you okay?" He asked and Stuart just nodded because he didn't want to talk about the dreams that he'd been having. "Okay," Robbie said but he didn't sound convinced but he turned to grab the bags. "I bought you a sandwich, some ice cream and grapes." Despite the man's first reaction to check that his friend was okay, Robbie's actions were now stiff and cautious and Stuart knew it was because he was probably feeling upset from how he'd acted earlier.

"Robbie," he started to say but paused when Robbie didn't even look back up at him but just continued to be busy with the bag of shopping he'd brought in with him. Sighing, he realised he'd hurt Robbie more than he'd intended. "I'm sorry. So sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Reaching out, he grabbed hold of his friend's hand so that he could pull him closer, forcing him to look at the younger man as he attempted to apologise. "Please don't hate me."

Pulling his hand free, Robbie just laughed as he shook his head but firmly took hold of the metal railing between them. "That's just the thing, Stuart. I don't hate you." He pushed the table, now containing all the food, up from the bottle of the bed so that Stuart could use it to eat. "I could never hate you. Understand?"

Stuart nodded grimly, feeling slightly upset that he'd hurt Robbie's feelings and yet the man had simply shrugged it off because he knew he'd pushed their boundaries off their friendship with his insulting comments. He, however, decided just to focus on something else so he nervously picked up the sandwich before asking. "Do you know anything more?"

Robbie shook his head as he reached out and stole a grape or two before yelping at Stuart slapped his hands away. "Hey. Behave. I forgot to buy me something." He explained as he popped the two grapes into his mouth, a smile there as he sucked on them.

"What kind of idiot does that!" Stuart chastised before handing Robbie the other half of his sandwich but the man declined. "Come on. You can have it. Besides, if I get hungry again, I'll just send you to the shop." He teased with a wide smile causing Robbie to glare at him.

"Excuse me, just because you went and got yourself beaten up doesn't mean I'm all of a sudden your slave," he joked knowing that he had to make light of the situation or Stuart would get all broody and excuse him of treating him different or wrapping him in bubble wrap.

"I think you'd look cute as a French Maid," Stuart commented, his face dead pan as he took a bite of his sandwich but he couldn't hold it when Robbie choked on the bite of sandwich he had just taken.

"Stuart, my friend, we might be exceptionally close but I don't need to know what you're getting up to at night," he lied as he patted his chest, trying to control his breathing after choking but he could see the teasing glint in his friend's eye. He didn't understand how he could feel jealous towards the man that Stuart had done these kind of things too. He was well aware that Stuart had had boyfriends, plenty of them, and they'd all been the ones to help him with his confidence but yet... He couldn't help it. He wanted to kill every one of them and state that Stuart was his. He just sighed.

"Oh don't worry, Robbie," Stuart said causing Robbie to look up at him, "French Maid is most definitely a fantasy I keep about you."

Robbie choked, again, on the piece of sandwich he'd put in his mouth and decided that this was most definitely not the kind of conversation you ate during. Glaring at his best friend, Robbie shook his head and wondered if Stuart could sometimes hear his thoughts and just goaded him for the fun of it. "Well I can assure you," he said finishing off the sandwich while he had control of the conversation, "that it's just staying a fantasy and is most definitely a fantasy you shouldn't be having!" He laughed before licking the mayonnaise away from his fingers, Stuart looking away because the innocent act was more than he could take.

He knew that he should agree with Robbie. The thoughts and fantasies he had of the man sat across from him weren't supposed to happen but he just couldn't stop them. He'd been fantasising about his best friend and fellow detective for as long as he could remember and as they'd got closer over the years, as all teams do, and Stuart had learnt more about his friend, they'd just intensified rather than simmered down.

Deciding to change the conversation, he smiled over at Robbie. "I hope you know when you find my killer, I'm expecting you kill him," he joked causing Robbie to smile.

"I think, but I'm not sure, that that's against the law," he teased back but couldn't help but bite back his inner monologue of how the day he caught the bastard, he would regret laying a finger on Stuart because there would most definitely be some sort of pain involved, "but I promise that they will pay for hurting you, Stuart." He reached out, not caring about how affectionate his following gesture would be, and ruffled the man's blonde hair before smiling. "Jackie misses you," he pointed out before laughing, "Well both of us because I'm taking some of my holiday leave to take care of you."

"I don't need you to take care of me," Stuart pointed out but there was no real anger behind it. Actually, it was quite the opposite. He felt touched that Robbie would use his holiday days – days that normally were never used – so that he could take care of Stuart.

"I know but there's no where else I would rather be and I need to be here for you," he said with a smile as he reached out and took hold of his best friend's hand, a small smile on his face.

"Even if I'm a complete bastard?" The blonde detective asked quietly as he thought back to the way he'd reacted earlier to his best friend but he just saw the grin on Robbie's face widen, his white teeth on show as he nodded his head.

"Even if you're a complete bastard." He promised and then noticed how tired his friend was so ordered for him to sleep before affirming that he'd most definitely be there when he woke up. Stuart wanted to argue but could feel how heavy his eyelids were starting to become so he just relented, his hand keeping hold of Robbie's as he settled back on the pillows and allowed sleep to take him. Robbie just stared at him, his smile falling slightly as he felt less pressure to smile now before pressing a kiss to Stuart's hand deciding there was no damage now that the man was asleep.

**to be continued...**


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHORS NOTE: This is where I admit that all the other case stories I had going but had unfinished have been deleted because I was out of love with them and didn't plan on ever finishing them. I'm sorry.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters (apart from the OC's).**

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><p>The next morning, Stuart was sat up in the hospital bed pretending to eat the horrible bowl of food in front of him – it was apparently porridge but he wasn't so sure – when Robbie walked into the small room, a bright smile on his face before he revealed a large white teddy bear from behind his back. He made the bear dance for a few moments, a grin on his face as he made the arm wave and Stuart read the "get well soon" message written clearly on a pink heart in the hands of the bear. Stuart stared for a moment, his spoon stilled in the air before saying, "Okay. Who are you and what have you done with the real Robbie Ross?" Robbie just rolled his eyes before placing the bear down beside Stuart and taking the spoon, that was still mid-air, into his mouth and wrinkling his nose at what Stuart was eating.<p>

"That's awful," he commented lightly before smiling again. "I thought it would cheer you up but apparently that failed." He pointed out with a casual shrug of his shoulders as he sat down in the chair that had been labelled Robbie's by most of the nurses that came in and out of Stuart's room.

"Well," Stuart started to reassure him, "it did cheer me up. I mean, everyone wants to see the big bad playboy that is Robbie Ross dancing around with a teddy bear. I genuinely think it's all my dreams come true," he teased before looking over at Robbie. "Can you get me a glass of orange juice please?"

Looking over at Stuart, Robbie raised an eyebrow. "What did I say yesterday about being your servant boy?"

Laughing, Stuart shook his head. "You're not my servant boy. You're being my kind, caring and considerate friend that doesn't want me to get dehydrated while I sit here in a hospital room," he said slowly with a wide smile, the signature puppy dog eyes that caused Robbie just to roll his eyes and groan as he moved over to the jug of orange juice that he suspected either a nurse or Jackie had filled. Moving back over to Stuart, he held out the glass and smiled at him. "Thank you." Stuart gasped, sounding like a man who had been starved of water for months rather than just a few hours.

"It's not water from the Oasis, Stuart," Robbie teased gently, his head shaking when Stuart started choking on the water from drinking too fast. "Easy," he soothed as he rubbed circles on the man's back, confiscating the glass deciding that his friend had had enough of that for now. "Since when did I become the responsible adult in this friendship?" He teased lightly.

"Since I became chained to a hospital bed," he pointed out to make it obvious that if they were in any other scenario then this situation wouldn't be happening. "When do I break out of here?"

"When the doctors believe that you're ready to leave."

"I believe I'm ready," Stuart argued causing Robbie to smile.

"Well you, I'm afraid, don't have a medical degree so therefore have no opinion." He pointed out as he shook his head. Stuart, he realised, was most definitely the most impatient and whiny person when he was trapped in a hospital. It was a nice shock seeing as Stuart was normally so well mannered and calm about everything.

"Fine. I'll let you have that one." Stuart's attention was now focused on the bear that was sat at his hip before turning back to look at Robbie. "Can I ask you a question?" Robbie detected the note of seriousness in his friend's tone so he moved back to his chair and looked over at his friend, a small smile on his face as he nodded his head.

"Shoot."

"There was a member of the gang called Finley Scott," he rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck before taking a breath and continuing on with his sentence, "did you happen to..."

"He was arrested, yes," Robbie stated quickly knowing that Stuart was going to find it uncomfortable to ask and he couldn't help but feel his heart break slightly when he saw Stuart's face crumple as he turned away so that Robbie couldn't look at him. Standing up, he reached out and took hold of Stuart's hand. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Robbie watched as Stuart forced a grin as if believing that that gesture alone would convince Robbie that everything was okay. "I'm fine." Robbie, without Stuart saying the words, immediately knew what was wrong. Finley Scott had been the homosexual member of the gang and had crushed on Stuart. It had taken both Jackie and Robbie to remind and convince Stuart that getting involved with Finley would be completely insane because not only would his heart get broken but he'd also, probably, lose his job. Witnessing the pain dart across the younger man's face as he heard that Finley had been arrested was enough to drive Robbie insane with jealousy as he let go off Stuart's hand, moving it to rest against the back of his neck as he found himself wondering if Stuart would ever get this upset at the idea of losing him.

"I'm sorry, Stuart. I didn't realise that..."

"Please. Just leave it." Stuart pleaded as he averted his attention to his hands as he bit back his tears. "Knowing my luck when it comes to love," he whispered, "it would have probably been him that attacked me." He forced a smile so to convince Robbie that he really was okay before sighing. "I know you have the week off but do you mind going into the office and finding out..." his sentence ended but Robbie nodded his head.

"I'd do anything for you," he teased with a bright smile knowing that Stuart really wanted Robbie to leave so that he could be alone. Squeezing his friend's hand one last time, he turned to leave the room but just stopped as he reached outside the door and leant back against the wall. The sound of Stuart sobbing caused his heart to break slightly as he ran a hand through his brown hair. Stuart, as the whole team knew, had never been lucky when it came to love and this really was the icing on that particularly mouldy cake.

Biting back the urge to shed his own tears, he continued down the corridor to the elevator where he was grateful to be alone momentarily.

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><p>Standing in the office, he stared up at the white board and particularly at one photo tacked up. He felt his stomach swimming around, his heart beating against his chest as he realised that he could be seeing the return of the chocolate chip muffin and coffee he'd grabbed on his way over here at what he could see. One of their own had been the one to put Stuart in hospital. The sound of heels alerted him to Jackie's arrival into the squad room. "Jackie, what's this?" He demanded to know, pointing at the photograph in question and studying her face.<p>

He saw a mixture of emotions cross over her face and she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. Robbie hadn't been in the office when Officer Smith had informed Burke of Jenkins' hatred towards Stuart and his chosen path of sexuality. Looking over at Burke's office, she found herself wondering why their boss hadn't deemed it necessary to fill Robbie in on the information. Jackie, despite her years of sharing a close friendship with both younger male detectives, had become aware that their bond had strengthened and had quite possibly, she sometimes thought, became stronger than that of the one she shared with either of them. She was afraid of how he'd react.

"Jackie, you haven't answered my question." Robbie pushed but before Jackie could answer there was a growl of Robbie's surname causing them both to turn to look at Burke's office, a wave of relief washing over Jackie as she wondered if he was now going to deal with this issue.

"Stop pestering Jackie," he demanded and took a step into the squad room, "and ask me your question."

Glaring at his boss, his shoulders broad as if sensing that there was going to be a stand off, Robbie asked the question again. "Why is there a picture of Officer Jenkins on the board that is connected to Stuart's attack?" Each word was said patronisingly slow and it highlighted his annoyance at having been left out of the loop. Yes, he might have taken the week off to help Stuart but he hadn't expected his boss to completely ignore him. "Why is it one of our own that has been ringed several times with a marker?"

Picking up on the protective tone in the detective's voice and also sensing the slight hint of desperation that it would be explained away as an error, just a path of enquiry, Burke took another step forward and sighed. He understood. It was hard to believe that one of their own would be responsible for placing one of their detectives, one of their friends, in hospital with several injuries and amnesia all because of his sexuality but it was the truth, they all had to accept that. "Robbie, Officer Jenkins has been arrested under the suspicion of assaulting DC Fraser, Stuart."

"How... Where... Why..." He looked back at the board, unable to form the questions he wanted to ask so Burke took it upon himself to explain the situation, linking it to the other photos on the board such as the WPC uniform covered in blood. The post it note beneath clearly pointing out that there was only one blood type present on the shirt and it wasn't that of WPC Jenkins but most definitely that of Stuart Fraser's. Closing his eyes, he ran his hand over his face and shook his head. "This can't be happening."

"Robbie..." Jackie started towards him but he held up his hands, causing her to freeze in her actions as she looked over at him.

"A man we trusted to have our backs in a dangerous situation attacked Stuart, brutally." Looking back at the photos, the ones taken of Stuart as he first arrived at the hospital causing his heart to break even more as he shook his head. "The aim wasn't to hurt or inflict pain. We can clearly see that," he turned back to the other two detectives. "He wanted to kill him."

"Robbie, you're letting your personal thoughts get in the way." Burke warned him.

"Damn right, it's my personal thoughts getting in the way boss," Robbie snapped at his boss as he turned to look at him and before he could stop himself he continued, "the man I love is in hospital because some stupid bigot decided to let his beliefs take control of him!" The other two detectives stared at him, their jaws ajar as they took in the piece of information but Robbie hadn't even realised his error as he stared at the board, his hand threading through his brown hair as he shook his head. How was he going to tell Stuart?

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><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHORS NOTE: None of this chapter is mine. It's all SO1 and I've always loved the way she laid out this chapter so I didn't want to touch it. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters nor the writing**

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><p>Forensic evidence showed that the blood found on the tee shirt stashed away in the bottom of PC Jenkins' bag had been a mixture of both his and Stuart's blood. Not only that but scrapings of dead skin cells that had been found underneath Stuart's nails showed that he'd attacked his assailant and had also gave them some evidence. Jenkins' was sporting three beautiful deep scratches that just moved past his eye and when anyone asked where he had got them from he literally shrugged and said that he was a sleepwalker so god knows what he got up to during his night adventures.<p>

Burke looked over at Jackie and nodded that she was taking the interrogation while Robbie was being forced to sit at this side of the glass so that Burke could keep an eye on him. Jackie moved into the interrogation room. "_PC Jenkins, I'm sure you understand why you are here?"_

"_You've apparently got some idea in your head about me being the one that attacked DC Fraser."_

"How long have you loved Stuart?" Burke's question couldn't even rip Robbie's attention away from the man that in front of Jackie, his own gaze fixed on the pretty brunette woman that sat before him.

"_You didn't attack DC Fraser?"_

"_Now why would I want to do that, Detective Reid?"_

"I've always been close to Stuart, boss but I've always seen myself as the ladies man. I knew that whenever I was upset or in need of a real friend, I'd always have Stuart there waiting for me." He found himself smiling as he ran his hands up his arms that he'd crossed over his chest in a defensive manner the minute he'd walked into the room and saw Jenkins sat in the other room.

"That doesn't mean it's love."

"_Rumour has it that you weren't too keen on the idea of working under the command of a homosexual detective."_

The calm in Jackie's voice angered Robbie. Their friend laid in a hospital bed because that sick piece of scum had decided to play God. Robbie would pay anything to be allowed in that interrogation room and show him what it was like to be beaten on by someone that you thought you could trust your life with. It was men like Jenkins that made him sick to the stomach.

"_DC Fraser's sexuality did raise a few issues with me, yes ma'am."_

"_Why?"_

"Why do you say that boss? Are you as homophobic as that prick that is sat in there?" The anger in his voice made Burke realise that Robbie meant what he said when he talked about his feelings for Stuart. The young man across from him never showed much passion for anything else but women and he could now see that was a cover up for what he really was.

"Are you not afraid?"

"_It's not right, ma'am. It's not human."_

"_So you thought you'd teach him a lesson?"_

Robbie watched as Jenkins councilman leant in and probably warned him not to say anything more but Robbie could see a sick glint in his eye and he knew what that meant. Jenkins wasn't going to keep quiet about what he had done. He was proud of it. He was proud for every little bit of pain that he had inflicted on Stuart who had just been doing his job.

"Am I afraid of what? Little bigots like Jenkins? You or someone higher throwing me out? No. I'm really not afraid of that. What I'm afraid of is going another day without letting Stuart know how I feel and he won't even listen to me because he's too upset that the guy from the gang that liked him was arrested."

"Why is he upset about that?"

"I'm the one that arrested him. I took great pleasure in arresting him, boss. It was a job well done. I also know that if I had known that the guy I arrested was the guy that held Stuart's affections than..." the younger man went quiet and Burke found himself feeling for him.

"_Do you want to know something Detective Reid?"_

"_Depends on what it is you're planning on telling me, PC Jenkins."_

The councilman once again moved over and Robbie knew that he was warning the man not to say anything that he would regret but Jenkins just shook his head, his hand raising slightly to cover the man's face like that childish action most teenagers do "talk to the hand because the face aint listening" but Robbie knew Jenkins wasn't that immature.

"_Do you want to know who Detective Fraser called out for when I delivered every single last punch?"_

Burke didn't know why he did his following action but he felt himself taking hold of Robbie's arm lightly with his hand, squeezing it with reassurance as he waited on baited breath for what it was the man sat across from Jackie could really tell them now that could disgust them any more than the idea that one of their own had been the one to put Stuart in hospital.

They heard Jackie's breath as she looked at him, her own hand's twitching not to clench into fists. That had been the reason Burke had selected Jackie to do the interrogation. She was the only one that could ever control her passions when facing them.

"_He called out for DI Ross. He called out about how much he loved him and I delivered him the final blow because he blacked out that minute. I did DI Ross a favour because I knew that he wouldn't want a dirty faggot talking like that. It could blacken his reputation in the police force, ma'am!"_

Burke felt Robbie stiffen even more against him so he shackled his wrist with his hand so that Robbie couldn't march into the interrogation room and beat the living daylights out of the man. He could see that that tiny piece of information had Robbie heartbroken even more but he didn't understand why. Surely knowing that the person you loved loved you back was probably one of the best things to hear. "What's wrong Robbie?"

"Stuart doesn't remember loving me, boss. He's not going to believe me when I go talk to him about this."

"_How would you know what DI Ross wanted, PC Jenkins? Everyone knows that DI Ross is best friends with DC Fraser. DC Fraser could have been shouting about his love as a friend for DI Ross and yet you thought you could beat him? Do you not love your partner, PC Smith? I believe he's been your partner for years too."_

Jackie's words caused Robbie some more discomfort because that was probably exactly what Stuart had meant. He had probably meant that he loved Robbie that way because of how long they had been friends. He ran his hand over his face. He should leave now, he knew he should, but there was something in the way Jenkins stared at Jackie that made him there was more to come.

"_That's not even on the same level. I don't think Smith wants to get in my knickers. He has a lovely wife and kids. I have my family."_

"_What do you think your wife and kids will think about you getting thrown into jail for being homophobic against one of your own?"_

Burke knew that Jackie was getting personal and he was going to give her five more minutes before pulling her out too. He should have got another team into investigate this team but he hadn't expected all these conclusions. He had just thought that Stuart's beating would be because he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. He would never have guessed that Robbie who had always acted as if he was a god's gift to women would break down and admit that the only person in the world that he had loved was Stuart! This case was bringing too much to the surface and he needed to back them out.

"_DC Fraser has no right in the police force, Detective Reid. The police force should be like the army. Homosexuality should be a dishonour."_

The man said the words with enough poison that even Robbie felt himself gasping at the man's comment. How could someone really think that homosexuality was that wrong? It was just as normal as heterosexuality these days and god the love could be more powerful than that of any man and woman put together!

"_I honestly think if I could meet Detective Fraser again, ma'am, I'd kill him. There are too many of his sort taking up valuable oxygen."_

"That bastard..." Robbie ground out before slamming his fist against the mirror causing everyone in the room to jump. A small smile stretched across Jenkin's face as he turned to look at Jackie.

"_DI Ross apparently is angry towards what I've said. I did it for him."_

Jackie rose from her seat and pressed the intercom button. _"Can someone come take this man away, I can't stand to look at him for a moment longer." _She asked and the door opened as a uniformed officer walked into place shackles onto the man's wrist. Robbie pushed away from Burke and moved outside to stare at the man.

"Detective Ross, how lovely to see you again, I hope you're happy with what I did..." He was cut off by Robbie moving towards him. Both Burke and Jackie called out his name afraid that Robbie would hit him. Robbie knew better than that and he stopped quite a bit away from the man and smiled at him.

"You can wipe that smug grin off your face, you son of a bitch." He growled. "Do you not see that they'll love you in prison, Jenkins? You're a copper. They hate us in there and I'm sure that the queens would love to have you bend over for them in the shower stall." The poison in Robbie's voice even made Burke shudder in horror at the idea that someone probably would attack the young man. "I hope you remember Stuart then when you're being raped and no one will hear your cries."

"Robbie..." Burke finally warned. Robbie nodded his head and turned to leave not caring any more. There was now fear in Jenkins eyes but no one cared as they chased after Robbie to make sure that he was okay.

"Robbie," Jackie whispered softly as she moved over to press a hand against his shoulder when she'd found him back in their office looking out the window. He didn't turn to look at her at first, she heard him take a deep breath before he did so. She saw tears in his eyes as he turned back to look at her. "What's wrong? We got him?"

"Whose going to tell Stuart the reason he is in hospital is because someone that was supposed to have his back decided to kill him because he liked men?" Robbie asked and Jackie heard the hurt in his voice. She didn't know how to answer that question so she just reached out and pulled him close to her. She found herself whispering that it would be okay. It had to be okay.

**to be continued...**


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHORS NOTE: Two chapters of this left before I have to go alone so don't expect any updates after that! Ha. Just kidding. I'll try my best to spend time writing this one because I do adore this story.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters.**

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><p>Stalling outside the ward room, Robbie took a deep breath as his hand hovered over the door handle before taking it in a death grip but he was just too afraid to walk into that room and tell Stuart, the man he loved, that he was lying there in that hospital bed because a copper, one of their own, who was supposed to be there to protect him had decided to teach him a lesson. Snorting, he realised how kind his thoughts had phrased that sentence. There was no way that had been a lesson Jenkins had wanted to teach Stuart. From the damage inflicted, it was obvious that Jenkins had intended for Stuart to die for his "sins" and not be around to tell his tale. In a way, this had happened due to Stuart's amnesia but there was always going to be the small blessing that he was still alive, still there with them and this would just make him stronger.<p>

"He doesn't bite, you know." The chirpy older nurse, Betty or something Robbie recalled, said from behind him causing him to jump as he turned to look at her, a forced smile on his face as he relinquished his hold on the door handle.

"I know that," he promised her with a nod of his head before turning back to look at the door, "I'm just afraid of how he's going to react to the news that I have for him."

"Oh sweetie," she said reaching out and pressing her hand to Robbie's shoulder, "Stuart is a ray of sunshine. I'm sure that whatever it is you want to tell him, he'll take it without a second thought," she promised before continuing on her rounds and Robbie just smiled after her but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

He, however, couldn't help but think about how right she was about Stuart. Or maybe the old Stuart. The guy was a ray of sunshine. He never saw the bad side of anyone unless it was pretty obvious and even then, he'd search high and low to find their good side. He just didn't think this time would count. Who would hear the news that he'd been beaten because of his homosexuality and state that it was okay because he was sure that the guy was just trying to... He stopped thinking as he realised that even he couldn't try and guess something good about Jenkins' behaviour. Stuart wouldn't either. He sensed that this piece of news would be the one to change Stuart and he hated to be the one to give it.

Without a second thought, he pushed open the door with a forced smile before freezing as he saw Stuart thrashing about on his bed as if he was having a nightmare. All thoughts ran out of his mind as he ran over to the bed, his hands taking hold of the other man's shoulders as he started to shake him while calling his name.

"_Come here, you dirty little faggot," the sneering voice came out of nowhere and Stuart tried his best to turn around to look who it was, he needed to know who it was, but he felt the cold end of a gun being pushed into the back of his head, restraining any movement. The voice was recognisable. That, however, wasn't useful to him because he knew everyone that was floating around the warehouse. It couldn't be a member of the gang, he told himself, because he'd already been told that they were open about sexuality and embraced it. _

_As the gun made contact with the back of his head, he grunted as he felt the pain burst there before a foot wrapped around his ankle causing him to topple to the floor, heavily. Making contact with the floor, he felt the cold of the pavement against his cheek but that was deterred by the pain of a heel meeting his ribs, his hand clenching into a fist as he attempted to fight back but a foot slammed down on said fist. "You're not going to be able to breathe after this, sunshine, let alone have thoughts about men again." The voice promised as another kick was delivered to his side and felt his head getting heavier, the light disappearing as he succumbed to the dark._

"_Robbie, save me..." he cried out, his head aching as he tried to focus harder on who it was attacking him but he couldn't, "I love you," he finally called out before finally giving into the weight of the darkness._

Stepping back at the words, Robbie stared down at the man and realised that Stuart was reliving what had happened to him down at the warehouse and his heart broke at the sight of the man crying, even in his sleep. Reaching out, he traced the man's cheeks with his fingertips and stroked away the tears before leaning in some more. "Stuart," he whispered before shaking the man awake again. Stuart, probably from the adrenaline of the nightmare, woke with a start and as a reaction, his fist connected with Robbie's jaw causing him to grunt as he toppled off the end of the bed on to the floor.

"Shit," the younger man cursed as he tried to sit up and grab hold of his friend but the pain coursing through his chest prohibited that so he waited for Robbie to pull himself up, his gaze focusing on the bead of blood now forming on the other man's lip from where he'd split it. "Robbie, I'm..."

"Jesus Christ, Stuart." The man grunted causing the other man to stop his apology, "It seems the only time you don't hit like a little girl is when you're asleep," he tried to joke as he teased the lip into his mouth, sucking at the blood but wincing at the same time. The simple action caused Stuart's chest to tighten.

"I'm sorry," he whispered finally managing to finish his apology.

"Stuart, it's cool." Robbie promised with a smile before chuckling. "It's just the last time I sneak up on you when you're asleep." Sitting down on the end of the bed, he pressed the inside of his wrist to the lip before pulling it away and wincing at the fact it was still bleeding but didn't show much concern as he moved his attention to Stuart. "It looked like one hell of a dream," he commented lightly unsure whether Stuart would want to talk about it or not. Leaning over, Stuart gently ran his fingertips lightly along Robbie's chin and felt his heart sink when he saw the jawline was already starting to redden in the form of a bruise.

"I'm sorry," he repeated one last time as if to make sure that Robbie understood that before shrugging his shoulders, "it was just a dream."

"Aye right," Robbie said not believing the man but decided not to push as he reached up and wrapped his fingers around Stuart's wrist. The man's jaw dropped, eyes dilating at the slight touch and neither action went unnoticed by Robbie as he moved the hand away from his face, his own fingers teasing that of the other man's as he found the courage to tell the other man why he'd come.

"Robbie," Stuart whispered staring at their hands and sensing something was distracting the other man, "what's wrong?"

Closing his eyes, he mentally counted to ten before taking a deep breath and turning to look at his best friend. "I have something to tell you."

Something in Robbie's eyes gave it away and Stuart stared at him. "You know who did this to me," he whispered as he looked away from the man's eyes, the emotions there making him afraid of what the answer could be. Taking a deep breath, he asked the one question that had been on his mind since the incident. "Was it Finley?"

Looking away, Robbie found himself sighing. That was the one question that Robbie hadn't expected but knew that it would be easier on Stuart's mental health if he lied and just said yes, yes it was Finley. It was easier to move on from a broken heart than it was to rebuild trust in the men that were supposed to have your back. He also knew that the truth would come out eventually so he looked back at the man, his head shaking as he realised that he couldn't lie to the man. After everything he'd been through, he deserved the truth. Stuart's face cracked, a smile of relief replacing the previous look of worry, and Robbie quickly turned away, not wanting to see Stuart's love or concern for another man. "So who was it?" Stuart insisted to know.

"Stuart," he whispered as his grip tightened on the hand that was still lying in his lap, "it was one of us. It was PC Jenkins." Turning back to look at his friend, he saw the horror replace the relieved smile and an awkward silence washed over them. Robbie watched as Stuart's jaw tightened, the hand in his lap getting more tense and Robbie found himself realising that there was something in Stuart's eyes that he wasn't used to seeing.

Eventually the silence was broken by Stuart spitting out the word "why?" and this time it was Robbie's time to stall, his eyes closing again as he tried to control his breathing and the emotional battle that was happening inside of him. Keeping hold of the hand in his, he turned back to look at his best friend and felt the familiar knot in his throat that showed he might not be able to control his emotions. "He didn't like being told what to do by a..." He stopped talking as he realised that he didn't know how to phrase the sentence. Yes, at the beginning Robbie had had an issue with Stuart's sexuality but not because he was gay. No. He had a problem because the once shy, weaker detective was the one strong enough to admit in their career that he was gay and could survive through all the torment and abuse that would happen to him. Never would Robbie have pointed out that Stuart was a gay, a faggot, a homosexual or dirty because he was into guys. To Robbie, Stuart was just Stuart, his best friend and a damned good detective. Robbie would never understand why he would need labelling. "He's homophobic, Stuart."

There was silence as Stuart took in the information but it wasn't long before a lone tear dripped down Stuart's cheek, his head bowed as he felt the emotions winning. "He beat me because I was gay?" He whispered before shaking his head. "Someone I should have trusted did this to me because I'm gay?" He reiterated causing Robbie to nod and Stuart couldn't help but feel shocked. He'd thought all the issues of his sexuality had subsided. It had been years since he'd came out and he'd been open since the beginning so that it would never become an issue. Looking over at Robbie, he remembered how the man had had a few issues with his chosen lifestyle at the beginning and sighed. "Is this what you wanted to do to me when you first found out?"

Shock hit the elder detective as he stared at his best friend. He prayed that he'd heard the man wrong but the determined glint in his eyes showed that he hadn't and he couldn't help but glare at the man. "No. I never, once, wanted to hurt you, Stuart." He whispered half-truthfully because if he was to tell the whole truth then Stuart would know more about Robbie than Robbie was prepared to share. "Jesus, why the hell would you think that about me?"

"You always gave me dirty looks. Are you trying to tell me that not once you felt like beating me to try and teach me that this was wrong? That what I am is against Christianity?" He demanded to know angrily, ripping his hand away from Robbie's as he continued to glare at him. Robbie stood up, his hand now threading through his ashen blonde hair as he shook his head. He had expected anger from the younger detective but this was beyond what he'd expected.

"I don't have any kind of relationship with Christianity, which you know damned well, so if you want to bend over for a guy, that's fine by me." He shot back, his anger just as strong as Stuart's as he shook his head. "I realise that you have an issue here but there's no way I'm going to let you take it out on me. I was the one back at the police station having to be held back so I didn't kill the man who did this to you but if you want to believe that he and I are in cahoots then that's just fine. See how much I care, Stuart, but I can tell you now that I'm not going to stay here and listen to you accuse me of being homophobic especially seeing as I'm in..." He just stopped himself from outing himself in rage as he looked at the man, the hurt evidence in his face but he didn't say anything else as he just shook his head and turned to leave the ward room.

Watching the man leave, Stuart realised what he'd done was wrong but knew it was too late to call the man back. Hot tears fell down his cheeks as he realised that even using Robbie to vent out his anger, he didn't feel any better and if it was possible, he felt worse. Closing his eyes, he realised that the best option was to fall asleep and hope that Robbie would come back when he woke.

**to be continued...**


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHORS NOTE: Shoot. It's been so long since I updated this story. I'm sorry! Here I am with the next chapter... **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters.**

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><p>A month had passed since Stuart's attack and he'd long since been released from the hospital. The hospital had asked if he would rather one of his friends to be his care taker or would he like a nurse to come in daily and help him. The team had been shocked when Stuart had chosen the nurse option but nothing had shocked them more when he'd started ignoring their calls, especially those of Jackie. At first, the team had just brushed it off as he needed space which they were more than happy to give him but after two weeks and then when he turned his mobile off, Robbie had decided enough was enough and that's why he'd decided that he was going round to speak to the man. He was going to demand to know what the hell was going on here and wouldn't leave until he had an answer.<p>

Banging on the door, Robbie counted to five before pounding again but before he could repeat the pattern, the door was pulled open causing both men to glare at each other. "What the hell are you doing here?" Stuart growled angrily and Robbie couldn't help but smile as he saw that Stuart had made sure he hadn't opened the door wide enough to let Robbie in.

"It's a funny story actually," Robbie started crossing his arms over his chest, "I have this best friend but recently he's been a complete prick and I don't know why so I thought I'd come here and ruffle his feathers to find out why." He was happy to see that Stuart had the audacity to look embarrassed at his behaviour but at the same time, the door remained half closed and there was no invitation for Robbie to come in. "So do you have any more questions you want to ask me out here or do you want to continue this inside?" Robbie watched as the internal battle took over Stuart on whether he should allow Robbie inside or not before he took a deep break and moved out of the way so that Robbie could come inside. "Why thank you," Robbie said with a smile as he moved inside and took off his coat.

"I wouldn't bother taking off your coat, Robbie. You're not staying long." Stuart pointed out firmly as he shut his door and wincing as he turned too fast, his ribs hurting him. Sighing, Robbie moved over to him and took hold of Stuart so that he could gently lead him towards the couch. Pulling away, Stuart snapped "I'm not a bloody invalid," but each word was accentuated with a wince causing Robbie to roll his eyes before stepping away because the temptation to push the other man was high and he didn't want to cause him any more damage.

Waiting for a few minutes so that his friend could settle down on the couch, Robbie let himself rip into his friend. "What the hell is your problem, Stuart?" He demanded to know, his tone louder than he intended but the frustration towards the other man was winning as he rubbed at his jaw in an attempt to keep his hands busy so that he wouldn't lamp his friend one. "Have you decided to hate everyone that works for the force because one of them beat you?"

"I don't hate you all, Robbie." He whispered looking away from the man, the guilt eating at him as he realised that he had been a bad friend recently and all they'd needed was an explanation. "I just don't know who to trust any more. I believed that my life would be okay with PC Jenkins having my back and yet he was the one determined to end it, Robbie. And his only reason was because I happened to like men rather than women!"

"Well now he's the one being liked by men while all your friends sit about and wait for you to call them! Do you have any idea how much neglecting Jackie is hurting her? Jesus Staurt, she's your best friend and despite everything, she always has been!" He pointed out causing Stuart to look away, his eyes closing as he nodded his head in admittance. He did feel guilty about his neglect towards them all, even Burke. None of them had ever judged him on his sexuality because they accepted him as a person. Every single one of them had been feeling his pain after it happened and had wanted justice as much as him and Robbie, sweet Robbie, had been in his room every day after the accident even after Stuart had shouted at him god knows how many times but now he was in his own home and he wanted to be alone.

"I can't do this any more, Robbie." He whispered softly running his hand through his hair but felt release at finally speaking even if he hadn't said anything. It was then that Robbie noticed that the slash marks on Stuart's wrist and his stomach tightened as he moved forward.

Sitting down next to him, he took a deep breath before looking over at him. "What can't you do any more?" Robbie asked as he took old of Stuart's hands, turning them round so that he could see the cuts. A huge part of him wanted to demand what the hell Stuart was thinking doing something so stupid but looking into the man's eyes, he could see the vulnerability there and he didn't want to scare him any more than that was necessary.

"I can't pretend that I'm okay," he whispered before looking over at Robbie and laughing. "Everyone keeps asking me if I'm okay when they come to visit and the only people who come to visit is my day nurse, the detectives on the case and then the station shrink that they've decided I need to see and I have to keep telling them that I'm okay." Looking away from Robbie, he noticed that his hands were grasping onto his knees as if he needed to feel that he had support some where. "I just knew that I couldn't look into yours, Jackie's or Burke's face and lie like that. I'm not fine."

"Why? Stuart, tell me what's wrong?"

"You'll think I'm a coward," Stuart said as a lone tear slipped down his cheek, feeling ashamed at that one tear. Robbie had always been the strong one and Stuart admired him for that so breaking down in front of him was enough to drive him insane as it was.

"Stuart," Robbie said reaching out and cupping the detective's face, the boundaries of their friendship long since blurred as he shook his head, "I could never think you were a coward. I think you're the bravest person I know," he admitted with a wide smile, the pad of his thumb rubbing the tear away and smiled at him. "Please. Tell me what's wrong."

Closing his eyes, Stuart sniffled as he let Robbie's words wash over him before sighing. "I can't even walk out my own front door without feeling terrified that someone's waiting for me to deliver that final blow, the hatred overwhelming all because I like men and it's..." the barrier had now broke and tears were falling down his face, curling around Robbie's fingers and he didn't even complain when Robbie moved Stuart closer to him and pulled him into a tight but gentle hug, his lips pressing a kiss against the man's forehead. "I don't want to be afraid forever, Robbie. I want to get over that."

Stuart's eyes were still closed but Robbie sensed this was his chance. "So why are you cutting yourself, Stuart?" Opening his eyes, Stuart turned his wrists over against his knees and Robbie still felt the slight unease in the pit of his stomach at how nasty the red cuts were. It was apparent that Stuart meant business when he did them but Robbie noticed the odd hesitation mark here and there which he felt extremely grateful for. Despite everything, he knew that Stuart wasn't going to ever find the confidence to completely end his life. Reaching out, Robbie ran his fingertips over the wounds and felt tears prick his eyes. "Stuart..."

"I don't want to be afraid any more," he whispered seriously and he laughed. "Do you want to know what I think about at night, Robbie?" When Robbie didn't answer, Stuart turned to look at him and he grabbed hold of his shoulders. "Do you want to know?" He said slightly louder and Robbie decided that it would be best to answer. It would be the best therapy for Stuart after all.

"Stuart, what do you think about at night?" He whispered turning to look at his best friend.

"Everything would be so much easier for me if I would just end it all," closing his eyes, Robbie felt the shock course through his body as he let Stuart's words sink in. "I just lie there and think about dying and about how much I want it..."

"Stop." Robbie growled angrily causing Stuart to look at him. "Just stop." His hand took hold of his friend's face, their foreheads pressed against each other as they let the silence over take them, the heaviness of Stuart's admission sinking in but neither one knew what to say so silence was golden at this moment.

**to be continued...**


End file.
